I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just invented taco cereal.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
