I want to walk on stilts...naked
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
