Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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