i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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