I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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