I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
