The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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