You're completely useless in the revolution.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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