The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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