And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
