he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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