AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
