im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
