Non-Jews are for practice
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
