I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
