thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wanna passion pit in your ass
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
