A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have fence marks all over my body
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
