I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
