Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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