He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
