There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
