Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
