I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
ok first of all what the fuck
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
