everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
