you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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