I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
