He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
