Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
