i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
