I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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