how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
