Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
