i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
