Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
