So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
