Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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