I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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