You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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