p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hippo gnu deer
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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