I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
