i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
