Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
