i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
