who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
