Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I deserve this hangover.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
