you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
