Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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