Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
