He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I don't deserve a penis
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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