this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
