She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
