I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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